Category — Hope

A young seminarian directed me to these words by Søren Kierkegaard …

Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God.  Yes, it is dreadful to even be alone with the New Testament.

We often talk of the Jesus Way as if it is the ‘best life ever’ or a glorious and happy everafter.  When in fact the call of God is a call to take up a cross and follow him to death and the words of Scriptures are instructions in how to live according to a different kingdom.  The Jesus Way is a dreadful way, because it runs counter to my hopes of success, self-gratification, consumption, and advancement.  And yet, if this dread is only theoretical talk or for the radical fringe, then Christianity is truly just another religious way with teachings and a moral code.  Rather, my expereince is that when I fall into the hands of the living God and seek to live according to his kingdom, I mourn the death of my hopes and my ways, but I also rise to a new hope and new ways.  Dread is prelude to becoming a transformed person with new and true hope. 

By acknowledging this and writing these words, I do not escape the harsh reality of what falling into the hands of the living God will do to my appetites, habits, attitudes, comfortable lifestyle, and pet sins.  The way in which Jesus calls me to walk demands that I do more than understand it or write about it.  I must personally know and walk in its dreadfulness, if I am to live in its hope.

“But [White Liberals] think all the world’s problems can be fixed without any cost to themselves.  We do not believe that. There’s a lot to be said for sacrifice, remorse, even pity.  It’s what separates us from roaches.” 
 -Dr. Paul Farmer, as quoted by Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a man would cure the world (2004), 40.

When I am discouraged, tired, or near despair, I look at a small photograph pinned to the wall over my desk.  In this photo, Pastor Allen Yuan Xiangchen and I are seated at a small table in his Beijing apartment.  A friend of his had taken me down backstreets and alleyways to a nondescript building and a tiny, ground floor apartment to meet him.  There was no appointment secretary, plaques of honor, pictures for sale, or adulating followers.  What I found was a rather small man and his wife - two saints. 

Pastor Yuan began his ministry right after the Japanese surrendered in 1945.  He opened a prayer room in Beijing where he baptized new believers.  Because he refused to join the state-sponsored, national church, he was arrested in 1958 and sentenced to life in prison for “counter-revolutionary crimes.”  He spent the next 22 years of his life in prison doing forced labor.  He had no Bible and no contact with his family during these years.  Upon his release in 1979, he immediately returned to what he had been doing when arrested.  People would pack his small apartment to pray and to hear Pastor Yuan teach from the Bible.  He did not conceal what he was doing nor did he consider it to be “underground.”  He said he no longer feared what the authorities might do to him.

During my visit, he asked one question after another about my faith and how he might pray for me.  He was concerned that I live as a faithful witness to Jesus in my country and among my family and acquaintances.  Toward the end of our visit, I asked him how he kept from losing hope during the years of hardship and separation from his family.  He immediately responded by quoting the opening verses of Psalms 27-

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?  When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh, my adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell. Though a host encamp against me, my heart will not fear; though war arise against me, in spite of this I shall be confident. 

The face of this saint glowed with confidence as he spoke these words.  In this frail body and watery eyes, I witnessed strong and vibrant hope.  Years of abuse, privation, and cold had not crushed hope.  His testimony was not that he had overcome his oppressors but that he had decided to hope in the Lord.

Pastor Yuan died on August 16, 2005 but his testimony lives.  His testimony of hope gives me hope.  His picture reminds me to choose to be confident in the One who has defeated evildoers, adversaries, enemies, and even death.

Do not succumb to the calls to fear.  From the Left and the Right, leaders of our society and managers of the economy are telling us the sky is falling and the only thing we can do is anxiously wring our hands.  This is not the time for hand wringing, rather it is the exact moment in which we are to live by faith and not just talk about faith.  If we walk by faith rather than sight, then the reign of God is the reality we live by rather than falling stocks, bank failures, and diminishing buying power.  Resist the notion that we rise and fall on the market; instead, embrace the promises of God.  It is especially in times like these that he can be believed and trusted.  This kind of rebellion against fear produces hope within us and gives witness to those in despair of the hope that is in Jesus Christ.  Resist the calls to fear.  Fear not!

There was a time I blissfully munched on Snickers and Almond Joys.  I thought these bars of sugar, nugget, coconut, and cocoa were quite a treat.  A good friend once referred to me as an ‘inhaler’ of common, run-of-the-mill chocolate sweets.  But, hey, this was all I knew.  Then one day I wandered into Wiseman House Chocolates, a place Texas Highways calls ‘Chocolate Heaven’, and now I am ruined.  I cannot go back to the other stuff.  Oh … I could, but I don’t want to.  The Gran Saman truffle is quite an experience, and once you have had this experience and are blessed with this knowledge, a brightly wrapped, convenience store chocolate bar holds little appeal.  I still occasionally go into the local gas station mini-mart, walk around looking for something sweet and chocolate, but walk out the door with nothing.  Why?  Because I know and recall the experience of something far better. 

In the realm of faith formation, what I have experienced of God’s goodness, grace, and love changes everything and causes me to be expectant of more of the same.  Knowledge of who God is and what he does radically alters my ideas of goodness, forgiveness, and love.  I now live in the hope of true goodness, real forgiveness and selfless love. 

And yet, I still look around for identity and satisfaction in stuff and ideas that I know do not compare with what I have experienced of God.  I could say that I am either dazzled by bright wrappings or my consumer conditioning takes over.  But the truth is that I forget who God is and what he does, and thus, I settle for short-term gratification that gives me a quick fix or fills me up for the moment.  Once the sugar high is over, I feel empty and cheated.  

I need to be with people of faith, because they remind me of who God is and what he can do.  I need my local church, because it is where I gather with other recovering inhalers of the common, run-of-the-mill stuff of life.  I need to hear the words again and again - ”O taste and see that the Lord is good; how blessed is the man who takes refugee in Him” (Ps 34:8).

The glittered, brightly-packaged, attractive stuff of life beckons, but I have tasted the real deal.  I am prone to go back to what seems to be enough, but I don’t want to.  I have come to know God through Jesus Christ and have experienced his goodness, mercy, grace, love … and so I hope in him all the more.

At some point this summer, I decided that I needed to produce a newsletter in order to stay connected with friends, former students, current students, CSI-Xers, and people I have met along the way.  I wanted to pass along thoughts about what I was reading, conferences that I thought would be worthwhile to attend, and contacts that might be valuable.  I even wrote a draft of the first newsletter.  Well, as a good friend and I were having a pita sandwich in a rather quaint deli in Hico, Texas, I told him what I was about to do.  I was sure he would blurt out, “Wow, Stroope.  That is such a great idea.”    Instead, he politely informed me as to how arcane and old school I was.  “If you really want to go public, get your ideas out there, and stay connected,” he said, “then blog!”  I considered blogging as only a fad for the young and excessively verbal - and certainly not something I would ever do.  Well, my friend spent the rest of the lunch hour (and several encounters since then) convincing me to blog and then teaching this old dog to do new tricks.  So, you have before you my first post.  If you look left, you will see the important stuff that I am bequeathing to you …

• explanation about mereHope
• my reading list
• some of my all-time favorite quotes
• notices of events and conferences
• friends, bloggers, and churches I want you to know.

As you look right, you will see current stuff …

• who I am (for those who stumble onto this blog)
• what I am currently reading
• what books you must read

And down the middle, I hope to have a running conversation with you.  I will let you know what I am reading (quotes and comments), what questions are in my mind, the issues that I feel must be addressed, and my musings on the church, mission, culture, poverty, etc.

More than anything, I am looking for signs of hope that are within the church, mission, culture, poverty, etc.  I am thinking alot about hope these days … but more on that later.

So, thanks to Jayson and Michael (http://threestream.com/) this old dog is blogging.