“He made me angry.” 
“I can’t help myself, I am just that way.”
“I can’t get out of debt.”
“I ran out of time, so I could not get my work done.”
“I could do better, if only….” 

And yet, no one makes us angry.  We choose to be angry.  We are not just victims.  In many cases, what has happened to us is a result of our decisions, and decisions can be taken to change our lives.  We can get out of debt, but it will require spending and lifestyle choices.  Quite possibly we ran out of time, because we chose to squander it on the telephone, computer, or television.  The truth is that we make excuses for ourselves, blame others and life circumstances in order to escape responsibility.  On the other hand, responsible living means we embrace the fact that we are accountable for our choices.

I choose what I eat, how fast I drive, what I say, what clothes I buy, what I read, whether I wash the dishes, make the bed, take exercise, do my work, love my neighbor, sleep until noon, buy on credit, love my wife, care for my health, hate my brother, look at a woman with lust, tell the truth, slander another person, etc. etc. etc.  I choose.  I bear the weight of my choices.  For example, fried, fatty, sugary, cholesterol saturated foods do not cause poor health or a heart attack.  I choose poor health, and I give myself a heart attack when I decide to eat such foods.  I cannot blame McDonald’s, mom, the lack of choice, a busy schedule, hunger pains, or ignorance.  I select from the menu, speak the words of choice, pick up the fork and spoon, open my mouth, and swallow.  The decision is mine - the consequences are mine.

Yes, there are factors and circumstances beyond our control, genes passed from our parents, and mean people who do us harm.  But I am afraid we put too much stock in the extent to which these control us, rather than on the choices we have.  And the truth is, we have a choice as to how we will respond to circumstances, genes, and mean people. 

Because I am a choosing individual (rather than a determined one), my actions are real and make a difference for me and those around me.  This makes my choosing important - supremely and eternally important.  This is scary, because left to myself, I dodge responsibility.  Left to my own discernment, I choose self-interest, ease, pleasure, and destruction.  But thankfully I am not left to myself, unless I so choose.  Friends, family, and teachers with much experience and wisdom are around me, if I choose to listen to them and heed their counsel.  The Spirit lives within me and guides my choices through the reading of scripture and theological reflection, if I choose to read and reflect.  As I contemplate choices, I am to seek the counsel of those around me.  As I make choices, I am to seek the Spirit’s wisdom, listen to his promptings, and recall his instruction.

A new year is just a few days away!  I resolve in the year ahead to live by choices that give life to those around me, give witness to God’s transformation in my life, and give glory to God.  I choose to hope that active, purposeful choosing makes the difference.

One response that I am continually tempted to make and one that I must guard against is what might be called ’holy license’.  In this response, the bad actions or attitudes of the other gives me license to come down on him or her in holy indignation and wrath.  If he cheats me, then he deserves to be robbed of reputation.  If she mistreats me, then I have license to mistreat her verbally or emotionally.  If he does not meet my standards of morality and behavior, then I have permission to reject or to trash him in public.  I confess that as a religious person my tendency is toward holy license.

The problem with holy license is twofold.  First, Jesus, of all people, could have acted with holy indignation and wrath toward cheats, scoundrels, prostitutes, and thieves, and yet, he responded with overwhelming grace and love.  The cheat and swindler Zaccheus, the thief on the cross, and the prostitute Mary Magdalene received grace and love from Jesus, and as a result, redemption and transformation took root in their lives.  On the other hand, Jesus judged the Scribes and Pharisees for their self-righteous condemnation of these people.  Jesus’ response to the marginalized, non-religious, sinners jolted and confronted the religous types with an entirely new way of treating men and women. 

Second, license is predicated on the assumption that I am above cheating, lying, or moral failure.  The truth is that I am not!  I am a cheat and a liar.  I can be a jealous, coveting, unfaithful, and selfish person.  Oh, I am being transformed by God’s grace and love, but this transformation is by God’s grace and not because of my innate or natural goodness.  I am the tax cheat in the tree, the thief on the cross, and the petty person passing judgment on others.  The only difference is that I am on the way to being changed by Jesus’ response and, in like manner, called to live by the same response.

Jesus says, “you have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’  But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on the your right cheek, turn the other to him also.”  However, religious culture says just the opposite.  From every direction, I hear that I am above or better than certain kinds of people (e.g., homosexuals or the homeless).  Or I am told that I should expect certain people and institutions to protect my Christian rights or my Christian way of life over against the rights and lifeways of the non-religious or Muslims.  I am allowed to live within a legal and social bubble that protects me from encounters with ‘illegal aliens’.  I am told to construct and maintain walls that insulate me and my family from the ‘moral degenerates’ or ’social misfits’.  I have permission to slander and verbally abuse a ‘liberal democrat’, because of his or her stance on social and moral issues.  I am encouraged to use whatever powers necessary to establish a conservative, Christian culture in school, the mall, courthouse, media, and government.  Religious culture grants me license to react, defend, correct, insulate … even insult.  If love is prescribed, in most cases it is easy, cheap love or demeaning pity.

To the contrary - following Jesus means that I forfeit holy license and righteous indignation, my religious and cultural rights.  When the world strikes me on the cheek because of my confession of Jesus, my moral choices, or my stance on abortion, I am to turn the other cheek toward them for another blow.  The Jesus way means that I do not hit back or push away but reach toward and embrace in grace and love. 

When I was a young man living in Sri Lanka, an elderly Christian man living in a village in the north visibly demonstrated for me the Jesus way.  Because he was the only Christian in a predominately Buddhist village, he was treated poorly.  In fact, he was cheated, ridiculed, and ostricized.  One day after arriving back to his home from a trip to the market, he noticed that the man at the place where he bought his vegetables had given him too much money in return.  My friend put down his goods and walked the mile plus back to the seller and return the excess money.  The man exclaimed - “everyone here tries to cheat me out of money and you bring money back to me.  Why didn’t you keep it, I would have never known.”  My friend replied - “I have a master who counts my money, and he would have known.”

A friend has disappointed me.  A brother is lying to me.  A colleague is saying things about me that are not true.  Do I live to get back at these people, or do I hope that they know my Master through my love and embrace?  License or love - Jesus has liberated me to choose love; the world is liberated through my choice of love.

This conference is shaping up to be a unique attempt to translate Big Ideas into Action, to assist the church in how live out the gospel in a radical manner, and to create understand how to be faithful in our fragmented world.  Speakers and workshop leaders include Kay Warren, Eric Swanson, Rick Rusaw, Rick McKinley, Lynne Hybels, Walter Bradley, Diana Garland, Dennis Tucker, Mack McCarter, Alan Nelson, Dennis Myers, Amy Sherman, Heidi Unruh, Gaynor Yancey, and myself.  Topics include human trafficking, church renewal, AIDS, poverty, disease, new technologies, world Christianity, youth, family, community ministry, volunteers, and new ideas about the church’s outreach.  In sum, the conversation is about how the church becomes externally focused.  Come to Waco and join us for this conversation. 

Early Bird registration runs until Dec. 31st.  To learn more about details of the program and register, click here.

The collective blessed ones, the people of God, are known as the church. The mission cannot be separated from the identity of God’s people.  Mission is who the church is, not what the church does. It is God’s mission, however, and not the church’s mission. The mission of church is to actively and faithfully bear witness to who they are and to their God.  God has a church for his mission, and not a mission for the church.  Through the participation in God’s redemptive and restorative mission, both the church and the world are changed.

Well said, Ashley!

Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God.  Yes, it is dreadful to even be alone with the New Testament.

We often talk of the Jesus Way as if it is the ‘best life ever’ or a glorious and happy everafter.  When in fact the call of God is a call to take up a cross and follow him to death and the words of Scriptures are instructions in how to live according to a different kingdom.  The Jesus Way is a dreadful way, because it runs counter to my hopes of success, self-gratification, consumption, and advancement.  And yet, if this dread is only theoretical talk or for the radical fringe, then Christianity is truly just another religious way with teachings and a moral code.  Rather, my expereince is that when I fall into the hands of the living God and seek to live according to his kingdom, I mourn the death of my hopes and my ways, but I also rise to a new hope and new ways.  Dread is prelude to becoming a transformed person with new and true hope. 

By acknowledging this and writing these words, I do not escape the harsh reality of what falling into the hands of the living God will do to my appetites, habits, attitudes, comfortable lifestyle, and pet sins.  The way in which Jesus calls me to walk demands that I do more than understand it or write about it.  I must personally know and walk in its dreadfulness, if I am to live in its hope.

Outstanding among these teachers is Lilias Trotter.

Lilias Trotter left a legacy of a life lived in service to her Saviour and the people of North Africa.  Born July 14, 1853 in London, England into a well-to-do family, she dared to take a path different than what society might expect.  She was blessed to have financial means, and thus opportunity.  On top of this she had exceptional talent.  And yet, means, opportunity, and talent do not distinguish her life.

When Lilias was 23 years of age, she and her mother traveled to Venice.  There, she was noticed by John Ruskin, a leading artist of her day.  He was so impressed with her talent and unique style that he took her as a student and begin promoting her work.  After some time with Ruskin, she decided that this was not to be her path.  She later wrote: “I see as clear as daylight now I cannot give myself to painting in the way he (John Ruskin) means and continue still ‘to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness’.” 

Her resolve set her on a path that led first into the nightlife of London where she sought to help women trapped in prostitution and provide shelter to young ladies in trouble.  This path eventually led her at age 35 to move to North Africa to work among Muslims of Algeria.  During her 38 years there, she cared for widows and children, created booklets of stories and parables in traditional style and pictures for illiterate women and children, championed a place of women in leadership roles, and founded the Algiers Mission Band, which later became Arab World Ministries. 

From Lilias Trotter, I have learned …

• faithfulness to one’s calling no matter the cost
• courage to live contrary to the expectations of others
• power of persistent prayer in the face of insurmountable odds

And yet, above these lessons, I am struck with the power of God in the helplessness of this saint.  For her, real power was to be realized only in her weakness not in strength or talent.  Of helplessness, she wrote

[God] needs that helplessness as truly as the negative pole is needed to complete the electric circuit & set free the power. And so when one can only lie like sort of a log, unable to even frame the prayers one would like to pray, His Spirit will find the way through that lowest point which He so strangely needs, & lift them up to the Throne (Diary, 21 May 1923, cited in Rockness, A Passion for the Impossible, 298).

She saw failing health, conflicts, sadness, and challenges as openings for God’s power and the possibility of God’s mysterious work.  This was her supreme hope, especially during the final three years of life, when she was confined to her room because of a heart condition.  During this period, she wrote The Way of the Seven-fold Secret, a book for Sufi Muslims, probably the most important work of her life.  And during this period, she prayed fervently for the expansion of the gospel among the Kabyle Berbers.  What seemed to be impossible then is occuring today among the Kabyle Berbers. 

Often in my desire to serve God, I rely almost exclusively on my own competency and resources.  I do not seek the place of helplessness before God, nor do I wish to model this before others, because the last thing I really desire is to be seen as weak, helpless, and dependent.  I want to serve God from a position of power and self-resource … not helplessness.  Oh, I may mouth the words of dependency and weakness, but the reality of my life and service demonstrate an unwillingness to go there.  Thus, I serve God but only in my power, mental capacity, and resources.  If my health were to fail, my reputation became spoiled, or if I suffered mental anguish or distress, I would see my service as being over or severely limited.  And yet, while this might be the end of my work, it could be the beginning of God’s work.

Lilias anticipated more than what her competency and resources might produce.  So, she challenged those around her-

Let us dare to test God’s resources …. Let us ask Him to kindle in us and keep aflame that passion for the impossible that shall make us delight in it with Him, till the day when we shall see it transformed into a fact.

Lilias Trotter lived beyond her means, opportunity and talents and toward the impossible.  May you and I seek true helplessness and thus find God’s power and possibility. 

Among the books written by Lilias Trotter, see Parables of the Cross, Parables of the Christ-life, and The Way of the Seven-fold Secret.  For books about Lilias Trotter, see I, Lilias Trotter (A. F. Pigott, 1929), Until the Day Breaks (Patricia St. John, 1990), and A Passion for the Impossible-The Life of Lilias Trotter (Miriam Huffman Rockness, 2003).

A nimble, adroit, lively man, who in pretty language, with the utmost ease, with graceful manners … knows how to introduce a little Christianity, but easily, as easily as possible.  In the New Testament, Christianity is the profoundest wound that can be inflicted upon a man, calculated on the most dreadful scale to collide with everything- and now the clergyman has perfected himself in introducing Christianity in such a way as it signifies nothing, and when he is able to do this to perfection he is regarded as a paragon.  But this is nauseating!  Oh, if a barber has perfected himself in removing the beard so easily that one hardly notices it, that’s well enough; but in realtion to that which is precisely calculated to wound, to perfect oneself so as to introduce it in such a way that if possible it is not noticed at all- that is nauseating.  -Søren Kierkegaard, Attack Upon “Christendom”, 258.

Psalm 126
This is the end of the beginning - a beginning that is more than just the two of you meeting, the trip to Indonesia, and your proposal.  This beginning has been the years of love, care, and prayers of family, teachers, friends, and mentors.  All of us who have been part of this beginning are gathered to witness and launch you into this next half of the journey.

The Psalm you have chosen is about people on a journey - its a pilgrim Psalm.  It was read or recited as Israelites ascended to Jerusalem and the temple.  Its purpose was to remind them of certain things along the way.  In it we hear lament, as they recall the hardship of captivity.  But it is also a Psalm of great joy - their mouths filled with laughter, and with joyful shouting.  As they journeyed, they wanted to remember both the lament and joy.

This is not the normal wedding passage.  Usually we hear about love, or how wonderful life will be together.  But then, you are not the normal couple, are you?  By choosing this passage, I believe you want to say some particular things about who you are and what you want your marriage to be.  You are making three choices:

You choose to be like those who Dream.
In the Psalm, the children of Israel were returning from 70 years of captivity in Babylon.  They were returning to ruined homes and empty fields.  They were living with the reality of loss of power, possessions, and status.  But they were also dreaming of what could be.

In the same way, you have decided that you will not live with what is, or what others might define as normal or expected, or with the fears you might put on yourselves.  Instead, you choose to live like those who dream.  The fact is - God has already done something beyond your wildest dreams.  So, why not believe him for even greater things? - his promises, his best, his purposes!

As witnesses to your union, we want to say - Dream!  Dream of what God could do in your lives and through your lives.  My guess is that it is beyond your wildest dreams.

You choose to Laugh.
The Israelites knew they were returning to a mess - walls needed to be re-built, fields prepared and replanted, homes re-established.  They knew this was going to be hard and difficult work, but they also knew there would be joy in the end.  So, with the mess in front of them, they laughed.  The Psalm says “their mouths are full of laughter and their tongues with joyful shouting.”

You have already said … we want to walk off the beaten path, in far away places, and we know it will be tough.  In fact, I think you are saying we want it to be tough because we want to reap a great harvest.  And knowing this … your mouths are full of laughter and you are shouting for joy!  You are saying we want to live contrary to a mindset that hoards and protects.  You want to give much, so that you will see much fruit and joy.

Jesus says the same thing in John 12:24:
‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.’

As those who know your commitment to the difficult places and hurting people in this world, we say go with confident to those places, give yourselves completely so that you may be full of joy.  As you journey to these places and endure the hard sowing, anticipate the joy.

You choose to be Witnesses.
The Israelites were aware that as they returned, the nations were looking on, wanting to see how the Israelites would live and what their God would do for them.  In the Psalm, they are saying - we hope the nations take note of how our God carries us in the midst of ruin and destruction, and say ‘The Lord has done great things for them’. 

Ashley and Jayson, your ultimate hope is not marital bliss, a two-storied house with a white picked fence, or even old age.  Your hope is that in your marriage, in your work, and in your bodies, that the power and glory of God might be made visible and clear.  Your hope is that friends and family, Burmese and Indonesians will take note that Ashley and Jayson’s God has done great things.  Your hope is that God is glorified through your lives.

I charge you, from this first day of your married life to the end of your days - be dreamers, joyfully hope in God’s power, and give witness to his glory.